The decision to divorce was made September 1, 2016, the day after our 25th wedding anniversary and after 7 days of trial, yes trial, as in put up on the stand and grilled for hours trial, the divorce was final March 12, 2018, although not officially settled until September 11, 2019, due to his appealing the whole case. Through the process it felt as though I lived several lifetimes and time went by both too slow and too fast simultaneously but I buckled up, strapped in and held on sometimes just trying to get from breath to breath never mind day to day. I had no idea what was in store for me on so many different levels and I took more hits than a boxer does in his career. Somehow I always ended up finding a way to not only get back up, but become stronger than I ever thought I could be. And as it turns out the toughest time of my life was the most beneficial for me because I allowed myself to make mistakes, feel the pain and most importantly grow like mad in ways I wasn’t even realizing at the time, helping prepare me for anything that might come my way. Now don’t get me wrong, I was a complete mess and was a toxic load of negativity to be around venting to literally anyone who would or felt obligated to listen. As I told my trainer the other morning during a grueling workout, when I am faced with a problem, I bitch and complain then find a solution and move on. The issue at that time was I kept being faced with problem after problem which I won’t go into detail here because this blog is about feeling empowered and negativity and victim mentality, which I had been fully embracing, is not empowering. Therefore, I try very hard to no longer feed it and give it power, so unless you went through it with me you will have to just take my word for it that it was ROUGH, hence my no 2 bad days in a row post. I was existing in survival mode and needed to figure out quick how to not just survive but to actually thrive which is how we are meant to live and was the reason I started down this path of independence in the first place. So the journey began….
Leave a Reply