Stress is such a common part of life that we barely stop to question it. But since it is ultimately the leading cause of death, due to being the underlying factor in countless diseases and health issues, it’s time to start taking it a bit more seriously. Not to mention it accounts for so many of the physical issues we deal with and of course mental and emotional challenges as well.
Stop for a moment and think of something that is now or has recently caused you to be stressed. No matter what it is or where it is coming from, I bet if you peel back the layers you will find the same cause in every type of stress. Having the same common denominator in every stressful scenario is a huge benefit in trying to reduce it. Now you may be thinking yes, my mother, spouse, job, boss, homework or whatever it is for you is always the cause of my stress so that makes sense. No, that is not what I am getting to! We are going to peel it back deeper than that.
There is an underlying theme to all stress and once we learn how to manage it we will have the key to stress management so many are looking for. Now, of course there is no way to get rid of stress all together, it is part of life no matter how you choose to live it. It is true, however, that some people have much more stressful lives than others based on the decisions they make, expectations they have and boundaries they may not have set. But it can definitely be significantly reduced so that stress doesn’t stress us out.
But we first must want the stress in our lives to be reduced. This may sound like a silly thing to say but when it comes down to it I think there are many of us that are addicted to stress and would not want or know how to live without it consuming us. When you are going through the self-awareness step in the emotional intelligence process, pay close attention to this concept. Society in general tends to have us running around wearing stress as some type of badge of honor. Think about it, can you go through the day without hearing about how stressed out someone is? So it’s like the old chicken or the egg dilemma, which came first, actually being stressed or looking for stress? Either way it’s quite often the main focus of people’s days, conversations, emotions and lives and that needs to change to live healthier lives.
So let’s get to the bottom of it! Go back to that recent stressful situation in your life. Since I can’t chat with you about yours right now, I will share one of mine as an example. My youngest son who is 22 just moved from San Diego (where I live as well) to New York City! Yes, I am stressed. There are several factors that play into my stress regarding this move with the biggest being his safety and security. When I break down the stress of his safety and security to the deepest level, it leads me to the feeling of lack of control. Since I can’t control his environment, who may cross his path, how he is going to make ends meet and so forth, it causes me to worry. But that worry does me no good because no matter how much I do it, I won’t be able to change having control over those factors. I can choose to give into this helpless, stressed out feeling and let it run my life, or I can choose to control what I am able to. Since the only thing in life we have control over is ourselves, I need to shift my thoughts and rely on my Strengths to feel my best.
When we choose to go down that route instead of letting stress take over, knowing our personal Strengths order is the most reliable guide to lead us out of doubt and back into certainty given that it is tailored specifically to us as individuals. General advice can be helpful but much of it may not be very effective since it does not apply to our own way of doing things best.
Stay tuned for my next blog post to learn how I am using my Strengths to help ease my stress about my son navigating his life in New York City or contact me directly so we can walk through how you can use your personal Strengths order to reduce stress you may be encountering right now. Head to www.feelempoweredeveryday.com for more!
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