Some of the toughest decisions I have made in my life especially over the past few years have been very clear to me on how I should proceed even if challenging. But the one I am wrestling with right now does not stem from a difficult circumstance or solve a particular problem that is hurting me in some way, it is something I am opting for to move myself forward.
Most of you who know me or have been reading my blog know that I have been working as a middle school Instructional Aid. As much as I value the time I have spent in this role, I view it as a stepping stone in my path to creating my own mentoring business where I can actually roll up my sleeves and help students and their parents on a much deeper level.
Previously I have led with my heart and after the decision was made, relied on my head to sort the details. However, this decision requires a ton of self belief so my head is taking over and questioning everything my heart desires. And boy is living in my Strengths being put to the test!
I have been very torn about my role in the school given that I get to meet all kinds of kids and interact with students on a daily basis. But as regarded as the position may be in helping struggling kids, it is not enough of an impact in where my passion lies.
In many situations in life, this is part of the working (especially for others) gig and I appreciate that but when you are just now starting your first career at this stage of life, those minutes are too precious to let slip by. And the fact that I have such a strong eagerness for mentoring and building the business I am creating, I am at an impasse as to how to spend my time. I believe in what I do and know how much my mentoring benefits people but the idea of putting all of my eggs into my own basket is terrifying.
When we doubt ourselves, we are inevitably letting our bottom Strengths run the show and we hear everyone else’s voice inside our heads except our own. Change can be scary enough at times but when it is out of desire and not necessity it may wreak all kinds of havoc. For me that havoc involves getting caught up in needing to accomplish rather than just experience, overthinking rather than trusting my gut, worrying about all the data and numbers rather than letting things flow naturally, living in my past, rather than being present in the moment and comparing myself to others rather than accepting and embracing who I am. These thought processes are not natural to me and therefore cause unnecessary angst. As much as I have PTSD about quitting since I was repeatedly told I could never make it in the “real world” and would never be able to hold a job. I am diving deep into my top strengths to own my decision knowing that it is based on choosing to grow rather than stay in the status quo because of comfort and fear, which is actually anything but quitting.
So, it is time for me to ditch the doubt and get back in touch with the Strengths that make me shine, follow how I do things best and GO FOR IT! Each day will be a challenge but one that I am super excited about. I am ready to have confidence in this girl and her ability! And if I do happen to fail, I will have so much more to learn from than if I had never trusted in myself.
What decisions have you made recently? Did you go for it or let doubt win? Knowing your personal Strengths order and their meaning can help keep us guided on the right path for us, quiet the doubting voices that creep in and ignite excitement about the new decisions being made that are in line with who we are.
Be sure to hop on over to www.feelempoweredeveryday.com to learn more about building emotional intelligence using the CliftonStrengths as a foundation.
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