Those who seek to be Powerful, do so because they lack Empowerment
Due to a variety of issues going on I have come to realize that I take major issue with ego (which will be another post) and power. To me, they are the root of so many unnecessary conflicts that go on in our world and personal lives. As I was pondering yet another annoying headline that popped up on my phone this morning it occurred to me that my whole mantra in life is “Be Empowered” and I even just created a new business entitled Feel Empowered EveryDay. So if I despise the idea of seeking power so much, how can I be so obsessed with empowerment? Isn’t that a complete contradiction?
So I did some research and gained clarification from the definitions of each term: POWERFUL means having control and influence over people and events; having a strong effect on people’s feelings or thoughts whereas EMPOWERMENT means the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights. So in short, powerful is external having to do with others and empowerment is internal keeping the focus on yourself. This explanation gives me a better understanding of why I feel the way I do about each and clears up my concern for hypocrisy.
I recently learned that people become (or attempt to become) controlling of others or the situations around them when they don’t feel in control over themselves. Unfortunately they don’t usually see it that way and it causes all sorts of stress for the people they are trying to control and for themselves as well. I am sure as is the case with most of you, I have lived this scenario on both sides of the spectrum and neither feel good. This is just one reason why it is so important to open your mind up to personal growth and self development. I know consider myself a recovering control freak and will no longer allow myself to be in a relationship or situation where someone is trying to control me. One of the ways I am doing this is by understanding and living in my strengths.
I have several Influencing strengths which means I innately have the desire to move people forward but the key to using them in a way that benefits the people I am trying to influence is by learning to ask questions and follow their lead on what they want for their life and support them however I am capable of versus inserting my agenda for them onto them. In the words of my mentor Eddie Villa “When we think we know what is best for someone else we will be wrong 100% of the time”. The best leaders are those that have enough self empowerment to ask questions, listen to answers and lead from a place of service rather than those who assert their power over people they feel they are in charge of thinking they have all the answers and lead from a place of needing to control externally.
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